It seems to me that this internet is a great repository of opinions with a few partial facts thrown in. Yet ya can't really figure whats real or made up or even who copied it from who.
If ya needs to know somethin' 'bout thunder boxes, contact me, I ain't got no secrets and enjoy sharing all 'at I'd learned 'bout Americana.
(by the way I don't talk like this. I'm just one heck of a lousey speller.)
Keep on a Read'n (Updates)
Sometimes We Needs a Place to Thinks & a Place to Air Out
We are folk who have learned how to think and problem solve without the need for dem hand held plastic brains which so many of today's over pampered, mass media influenced, "like me" zombies need. Here is my latest thoughts, thanks and/or thinkin' news.
My YouTube Outhouse Americana channel
I don't do blogs or anything else younger folk do and I'm quite happy to have graduated to a more meaningful life that youth does not offer. But I am on YouTube in order to offer tips on outhouse history and building so I can share with them young pups proper Americana. E-mail me if you can think of additional topics I can cover and I will address them when I gets the time.
my YouTube channel is Outhouse Americana
my e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
Take advantage of a real rustic, old time outhouse builder while you can.
No matter how grand or humble the home or institution, once completely distilled, you are left only with an outhouse and its contents. - Georg Papp, Sr OBPA
Cottage Life Again
Sara Laux of Cottage Life, wrote a fine on-line article about me and outhouses (of course.) The Canadians seem to have a better attitude with disposing of their natural biological waste. Here in the US we ship it to DC via ballot boxes.
By the way I do not recommend having a seperate pail for outhouse toilet paper as suggested in a recent story. Sometimes writers take liberties which is OK I guess. The story was otherwise OK.
Cottage Life, a Canadian life style magazine, has seen fit to mention me in their Spring 2018 edition. I've always enjoyed this mag and I think you should check 'em out too.
Ted Geisel Meets Morry Moose in Winchester, NH
Yesterday I had the pleasure of reading "Morry Moose's Time Traveling Outhouse Adventure!" by Darin & Chad Carpenter, to Mrs Marsh's third grade class at the Winchester, NH elementary school as part of the read across America event.
The students were well behaved and very interested in outhouse Americana. Each child was presented with their very own outhouse pencil holder and they done a mighty fine job of decorating 'em.
Thumbs up to Mrs. Marsh, the Wnchester school and all the young'uns.
The "Old Goat" Will Not Get Any Older
It is with profound sadness to have learned one of my earliest outhouse friends and supporters has departed in his sleep last Saturday. He preferred to be known as the Old Goat and has been a friend to us here at Outhouse Americana, sharing his insights and humor through the years. Gute Nacht mein freund.
Come See Me In Da Movies
Folk, I finally figured out that youtube thing and ya can find me on the outhouse americana channel. Got two videos;
Men, Her Ovarian Cancer Is Your Ovarian Cancer also
Old Kybos Is Better 'em Dem New Types
Sorry, I ain't slick as I prefer to spend my time building better outhouses rather 'en learning to be a dandy for your entertainment but tune in as you could learn something. I'll probaly be talked into doing more. Check in every now and then.
Hey Lady Folk - Buy Title Nine
My lady showed me a Title Nine catalogue which had a model heading for the privy on one of its pages. Now Title Nine sells right respectable, tasteful and practical clothing for active lady folk. Sorry men, no corsets and such to gawk at. Just good stuff which would make you proud of bein' with her while hikin', bikin', an' respectfully enjoyin' each others company.
I figures, if a company has their head on straight enough to not ignore this fine necessary icon of Americana, them just deserves ya business.
End o' Days?
If ya one o' dem athinkin' the Antichrist is in the whitehouse & his minions are in control o' the rest o' this gov't, well I done heard it 'at indoor plumbin' may be the first thing ta go when things go nuts, so's if ya ain't got one, ya may be a needin' a right sturdy privy ta wait things out in. Why not see a rightious builder o' dem afore its too late.
I been in touch out there with a fella named Gerald Young, in Pulaski, Tennessee. He's the only other folk I knows, who take and done outhouse buildin' as serious as me. Check him out if ya down by the tenn/alabama border. A course, don't forget 'bout me up here in the north. We both have the same high standards ta gets ya what ya needs; a right sturdy, proper, functional privy which will last longer 'en ya grand young 'uns!
The Hawk Is A Comin'
Its that time of year for the hawk to be comin and bite us out a doors, so's ya better have equipted the necessary with ya foam cushionin' an get some extra buckets of ash for the path. Some folk use chamber pots aka homer buckets to collect it in the house and dump it once a day. Whatever ya does, keep it neat clean and as warm and comfortable as ya can. Many of us decorate em for the holiday. Enjoy the holidays!
Too bad we didn't have San Juan Mayor Carmin Yulin Cruz run for president insted of 'em other two jokers. Hey, maybe in 2020!!!
A bumper crop of corn is on the way. Sorry Charmin.
Honest Americana Spoken Here
Here 'bouts, we don't care 'bout kiss'n up to America's enemy's nor will we body slam or otherwise abuse any folk who been ask'n questions. So ask away. We ain't gone loco like some other folk. An' we don't mind taxes that help our fellow man. We be Americans not sweet talk'n greedy business folk here. We ain't need'n much 'cept ta get ya whatcha needs an' a smile from ya.
Git Yerself "Farm Show" Magazine
Yep Farm Show Magazine Vol 41, No 2, 2017, sure got the good sense of doin' a right fine story on me. Let's support em by buyin' a copy. Thanky fellas!
Cold 'n Cobs
Ya know its been so mild here 'bouts this winter didn't think 'bout the corn cobs some of you have soakin' in water in the backhouse. They works fine if ya don't use paper, 'n dem sure is cheap if ya gets a good crop. When it gets colder be sure 'n throw some hootch inta dat water so's it don't freeze 'n make ya say foul words.
I 'preciate them folk who visited en supported da Wood Memorial Library Gingerbread house festival. See ya next year.
Winta's A Commin' !
Certinly is. Gits ya privy in shape from the long hard blow of the hawk.
Thanky Guilferd, Vt.
Dem folk up Guiford, Vt way done put together one fine ol' fashin'd country fair. Don't got much of the fluff an' silliness o' others. Jus' plain ol' what a fair was an' outta be like. The real thing. Keeps it up!! See ya next year.
Don't Like Polyticks But..
Can't keep quiet. We got 2 front runner folk at outa be runnin' to da outhouse an not the White House.
Whereas, I left da paint'n of da Millington schoolhouse to da local folk, I cannot take credit for da paint job. Folk way back, did not paint da inside the same color as the outside. Usually da interior would be whitewashed. Made it brighter inside. I take much care in whats I does an' sloppy paint'n is not what my work is all 'bout.
A Done Deal
Well da folk at the Millington, Ct got emselfs a mighty fine authentic look'n repaired n restored 1850's outhouse at da ol' schoolhouse. If ya ever 'round East Haddam way, stop n give it a look. It'll be there for years to come if they use sensible think'n.
Thanky Winchester N.H.
An old fashion thank you to the fine folk at Winchester, NH for hosting me at the church. Can't wait ta git back sometime.
Spring! When I digs I gits more n more rocks here 'bouts. We grow more n bigger stones than taters it seems. If that be ya place, no need ta dig a pit fer da privy. I got ya covered wit a rear clean'n out flap. Works great for some.
A Mighty Wind
A right mighty wind done took out 4 of my trees and two sheds. I kin gits at my shed supplies w'out use'n da door. A bit easier I gess, doors are a bit overrated anyways. 'Cept on da privy.
No Poly-tick'n Here
Don't look here bouts fer poly-tick talk. Only good ol fash'n, honest Americana. Modern folk has 'come ta be too dumb and fearful ta listen ta reason so's now da inmates are a look'n ta run da asylum o' state. If you'n needs good kybo, info howev'a; I'm here ta talk sense.
A good snowfall at last! Be careful. Don't try 'n hold the toilet paper roll while dig'n a path to da kybo. It'l probably fall in the snow. Hope ya folk enjoy mak'n snow angels 'n snowfolk.
Happy Sweet '16 New Year!!
I gets too busy wit other things than ta worry 'bout act'n like a fool one night when other's are. Been too busy figure'n out a customer's kybo build'n probl'm 'n guess I'd forgot.
Here 'bouts the hawk o' winter has come 'n time to pull out da chamber pot or risk frost bite 'round da tush. If ya gotta goes to da meditation chamber, I can tell ya I never heard o' one stickin' to da seat like a tongue to a flag pole. Yet iff'n ya be da first, I suggest ya gets somebody's attention 'n have em pour warm water were ya be sit'n. 'At might work ta loosen' ya up.
While in ya meditation chamber this season, why not jes' get ta think'n 'bout gett'n the life we got back when Harry & Ike was pres. We did'n live in fear cuz we had respect fer other stuff 'n $$$. Gun owners were called sportsmen, not the psychos they become today. Dem would work ta solve the problems created by dem love of a gun not encourage more outragious behavior created by fear. "We have met the enemy and he is us." Once we figure that, we can then fix that.
Let's hava ' Telathon For Dem Poor Exec's
I see's Hartford Healthcare Teleyvision ads complain'n they can't make nuff profits ifin they has ta pay fair taxes. Maybe dumpin beneyfits ta employees wit advanced stage cancer didn' give em greedy exec's nuff ta live in comfort.
A quiet Halloween
Not many Kybos tipped this year. Guess it's tougher ta do with two thumbs stroke'n the plastic brain or maybe the econo-me has got better 'n so's da treats.
Be Good 'n They Be Good
Halloween's a comin' , prime privy tippin, season. Some folk here 'bout do some purdy extreeme stuff ta keep at thunder box right. Leon chains his crazy dog to it an' Lester down da hill keeps his shotgun loaded with rock salt. Well I knda figg'a this tells em younguns at guns n' attack dogs are just fine n' they learn on doin' dis stupid stuff when theys gets olda'.
Ya know, if ya treat em right on that night, give em good treats not what young folk call junk, ya kybo will do jus' fine. If ya challenge em wit nasty dogs an guns, they will jus' wanna try ta gits 'round em n' do ya one better.
Helpful Cheap Ol' Time Hints From the Geez'a
Way back when, us folk would get tagetha ta do work on one or other's tractor or other contraption. Worked out fine, kinda like the lady's quilt'n pa'ty cept for Mildred, she was the tomboy sort, but us guys n' Mildred would get awful dirty from the grease n' such. When done, we'd always grab a pizza as we found 'at afta eat'n one, our hands would be clean as a baby's. Nowadays I jus' use cooking oil followed by reg dish detergent, ta clean my hands afta day get all greased up. Cheaper 'en em store brought goop.
Also rather 'en spend money on fancy wrapped head light lens restor'n stuff, i jus' grab me some baking soda an' a tad of water an' rub 'at paste on the lens til it come clearer an' finish the job wit plain old fashion toothpaste. It worked fer me 'n saved me twenty dollars.
Da Hawk's On His Way
Winta's commin'. Start thinkin 'bought what ya'll need ta keep ya kybo cozy n' safe ta get at.
Pop Off Responsibly Dis 4th!
If ya read "The Authority" as ya should, ya knows fire cracka's n thunder boxes don't mix. 'n absoloootly no way 'en folk are enjoy'n a good read or meditation inside. Afta all, what stinks, can castrate. Its been proven so's don't try et ya'self.
Leave My Wooo-Wooooo Alone
I was disturbed by an ad on the idiot box regadring Scott TP and their new rolls without a cardboard tube.
Dang! Ever since TP replaced corn cobs & catalogues, one of the joys of childhood would be to remove the empty tube from the hanger, blow into one end which usually sounded like woooo-woooooo.
Now the evil empire is doing away with that. What will our young'uns do?
I says, contact Scott & tell em to let our young'uns play wooo-wooo again. Also let dem other guys know we won't stand for a woooo-woooless roll. After all the economy's gett'in better an' we'll soon be gett'n more an more catalogues. At least the catalogues got some good pictures if we can't play wooo-wooo.
A Bit o' Steam
Afta' denying all benefits to a long term employee while undergoing chemo for advanced stage cancer and reporting a record breaking 48 million dollar profit, the non-profit Hartford Healthcare/Backus Hospital is crying that they can't make enough money in Connecticut due to the oppresive business climate. And, I'm told, one healthcare CEO once said "hospitals are not about healthcare, they're for making money" (or something to that effect.)
I ain't as big as them em, I don't treat anyone shabby 'n' I ain't go'n nowheres!
A Bit Of Highbrow Culture
My good friend Dave sent me this:
There once was a young man named Clyde
Who fell down an outhouse and died
Then his younger brother fell down another
And now thet're interred side by side.
Pappy Day's A'comin
Why not give ol' pappy a meditation chamber of his own, afterall, we sure got one heckova bumper crop of poison ivy this year an goin' in the bushes outback behind his favorite tree may be 'itchin.
I'm told; Warren see's his farm hand, Abe, fish'n for somethin' thru da privy seat.
Ol' Warren asks what ya fish'n fer?
Abe sez; dropped meh jacket down der.
Warren sez; well I seen dat old ragged jacket. Ain't wurt da trouble.
Abe sez; True, but if don't git dat jacket I can't eats da sandwich I had in da pocket fer lunch.
Ain't Dumb, "He Just Us"
In a place like Green Bay, if a worker duz somethin' stupid, I mean real dumb, agin what he was told ta do, da boss man duz somethin' puneytiv, even dump the slob. Bostin, I sees is diffrent. 'less a course, da fella wuz doin' da kindy stuff whats everyone else wuz in da outfit.
The Limpbrady Trophy
A Right Proper Day Fer The Missis
Ya pappy may ha' been spend'n more time in the biffy do'n #3 start'n da day ye been born but mammy has always been there for ya. Why not spruce up the outside o' da necessary fer her. Makes 'er a new swish stick ta chase dem bugs away from under da seat an' throw in an extry roll of Bull Hill Workshop TP.
Master gardenin' stuff - No Charge
Ya know, whether it be woman folk, a big bowl of vittels for supper and specially the jakes, dem is always better when purdeed up a tad. Can't tell ya how ta spruce up the first two, but why not plant some lilac by the jakes. Over da years ya'll appreciate the bush purdeein' up the outside an natural flower stink, sure beats what's there or the store bought stuff.
sure look'n like a right proper day ta remove dat winter styrofoam ya'd put 'round da kybo seat ta protect dem buns dis past winta.
I thank all the fine folk who da come round an' visited me at the fair grounds this past weekend. Most enjoyable an' ah hopes ta do it again real soon.
Only a Handle, Nut'in else!
Me an' my mrs was watchin an old flick, Mata Hari wit Garbow from back in '32 or so. I only says this cuz we see this old side chair in the movie. It got a cresent shaped handle cutout on the back so's the fella's can pick it up an' moves it about. a cuz, in order ta grab it right it needed to be "sideways" compared to how it is used on the privy door, but 'at shape for grab'n in a movie 'at old, sure shows me they knew what they used it for an' I bet no folk called et a moon goddess chair.
Weathermen ain't so scientific hereabouts
Ya know the weather folk in this neck of the woods say that things may change about dinner time. That's fine 'cept dinner is a type of meal, not a time. Take Clem who works down at the orchards. He eats his dinner at breakfast. When he gits home after a days chores, he just cleans up, has alight supper and hits the sack. Me? My dinner comes aroun' noon time. Having my major meal then helps keeps down the poundage. Most folk make supper their dinner, but not everyone, so to be scientific like, supper is a time an' dinner is a kind o' meal.
So's when I talks 'bout privies, I respects proper word'en. Ye'siree! We been edgeucated.
Spacey Values I Suppose
I hear 'bout some singing lady what spent 50 million dollars ta sing in outta space. Heck I rarely got 50 dollars in my bank acct an' certinly ain't got nuf to get me an my lady into a space in da cemetry. But I bet there are times when a well built privy, here on earth, got much more value an' is much more appreciated 'an list'n ta dat lady where ever she be.
Well taday I starts seein' ice turnin' ta water. soon ticks, moeskeetas, flowers an' types a women who should not a been expos'n parts oh der bodies will do so non the less. The other type women are welcome ta do so in good taste oh course.
Anyway, I wanna find some good men who wanna help da Ovarian Society people by putting on fund raisers an' such ta help em educate folk about this disease dat most women folk ain't know day got til its tooo late. Most fund raisers are targeted to the women folk but I think we should do a bit fer dem as they produce our younguns and put up with us an' such. Please e-mail me if ya wanna get involved. An' please do.
Ya know on V-day I sees men on television get down on one knee to propose marriage & some women folk actually expect it. Don't they know marriage is a partnership of equals? Well I reckin not. Ya work tagether to make and raise children an' when things go wrong stick together an' work it out. It ain't gonna happen if one feels superior over the other, 'cept in game playin' an' such.
I feels if some fella gets down upon one knee out of habit, well the lady aughta do the same when she accepts an' start together from the ground up an' 'ats how 'at should be. Mutual respect.
Is That A New Boston Skyscrapper or a Snow Office Building
Ya know I always felt football players look silly praying & offering thanks to their supreme being after a touchdown an' such. Well I figure if such a fella exists he don't care an' must rather be sit'n back on a cloud with a big bowl of dip watchin' humanity do its thing without interferring.
In light of the recent weather in Boston and Boston's support community, I'd have ta say someone 'at can control such things, sure got pretty annoyed over deflategate and maybe other less known events that when spring comes, bean town will have turned inta a pillar of rock salt.
Outhouse folk tend to have the honest values America once had and can handle any problem modern values create. So while the country goes crazy bickering over special interests and dealing with supergreed, there is always the meditation chamber ta help set ya straight.
Ol' fashion football and Americana values have always been sacred to me which is why I choose ta stay away from the idiot box tonight.
They say if ya been to da privy ya musta ate. That is deficate, urinate or ruminate.
Hey, look outside. It's snowin' hereabouts. Best ya git dat shovel out now or ya may regret it later. It may wanna rain on top a it later, so's leave an inch or so of the white stuff so ya git some traction if 'at happens. Else ya might need ice skates ta git ta da kybo later.
My Winter's Thermometer
Found myself a nifty way o' figerin what I needs to take with me to the kybo during this "Hawk" time of year. The Missus planted a rhododendrum near the window, some time ago an' the colder it gits, the more dem leaves curl. So's I know if dem leaves are so tightly curled they looks like pine needles, I gonna needs a good coat an' probably a little bottle of my secret recipee for a trip out back. If dem leaves are flat; well a sweater will do me fine. The secret recipee? Well whata ya think?
I'm building a few antique lookin' privies an' need sum ol' barn/shed board. I'll git rid oh dat eyesore in ya yard fer da wood. E-mail or call me with what ya got & where its at.
Have you noticed that many older country homes have in-houses 'at open from the kitchen? It had me wondering after I moved into mine, why folk back 'en would want this. After I'd'a done the work of opening a new door from another room and walling off the kitchen entrance, figured the in-house was the old pantry which wasn't needed as much when all these new fangled modernization took place at 'bout the time out houses started bite'n the dust.
A Wish For A Meaningful Holiday Season
As Americana, the Christmas season is continually evolving so as the further away we get away from its roots the more we forget about the origins of its traditions. Some say we gets too caught up in the pagan festival aspects needed to convert some olden folk to Christianity and maybe so. Yet whether ye be a follower of the Arab based Hebrew folk tales God, a Janite, Budhist, Atheist and even the mother lode of Christmas; the Christ'n God, among others, we seem to be evolving into a season of tolerance for each other with a gradual sharing of traditions which over time will transform mankind. Just dig up any old pit an' ya'll find fertile compost among the empty discarded "medicine" bottles of our social youth.
a bit o' nag'n
This here mild winter has been much better on my aaa'kin back but fella's don't forget to nag ya woman folk 'bout ovarian cancer signs, cuz they'd never know they'd had em til it be too late. A PAP test will not find it.
If ya thought ya were clever 'nuff to build that kybo over a stream this past year, need I remind ya 'at winter's here. Ya better hope for an early thaw.
Ya might start think'n 'bout saving that packing material from ya packages as its getin' cold and many old timers tell me they use that stuff to make ya seat more comfortable in the winter.
"No lye - Outhouses Stink."
Are you a limey or ashey?
Either way, don't forget to sprinkle after ya tinkle and drop.
'em business folk deserve to be stuck head first into a pit!
Ya know things don't seem right anymore. Ya see my wife come down with ovarian cancer and am told, after six months, her treatment was a success which simply means although there is no cure, its been knocked down a bit so's she'll be able to help me for many years to come. She's been through a very tough, aggresive treatment and am proud that she stuck it out despite the terrible effects it had to her body. In fact, I commend and have a good deal of respect for all women who have had to deal with this most terrible ordeal.
Before we found out about this, she worked for Backus Hospital which has recently been taken over by Hartford Healthcare, ya know that place that is advertising all over about their great cancer care.
Well my wife worked there 18 years, when they opened a local office in town, she was the first employee and worked beyond the call of duty, and sacrificed to get it working right so's the hospital would succeed.
As ya know it, when she needed cancer treatment, she was granted a FMLA but three quarters of the way through she was refused an extension and the "good" cancer hospital took away her medical benefits and would not guarantee the position she had worked hard to create for her employer. Her illness was was deemed an "unnecessary or undo hardship to the hospital." This despite other folk whom they accommodated in the past, for lesser circumstances.
Oh I wrote a few letters and was able to squeeze two more months of medical outta 'em but when she'll soon be ready to return will probably be reassigned far away from home, probably in an effort to get her to pack up her eighteen years of loyalty and commitment.
Hartford Healthcare has over a billion dollars in assets. Pretty good for a non-profit and I guess despite Backus making record profits, the money has to go somewhere in order to not carry a profit to next year. Maybe that excess green will go to executive bonuses, heck we know it'll not go to the actual folk needed to generate cash flow. I guess some folk haven't figured out that one way or another all business is personal.
Ya know, every now and again I thinks of when in my younger days, I installed telephones for SNET. One time a lady asked me to put one in her bathroom and when I asked her where it was, was directed to the second floor. The entire floor of her 22x22 ft cape WAS her in-house. She had just had the throne perched upon a riser dead center and various in-house stuff was waiting to be installed. I guess we all got different values and needs.
When my grand young-uns needed to go fishin, we just grabbed the poles and walked on down to the trout stream and had a grand old time. We didn't need a yacht along with its maintenance, docking, crew and other fees and attendant headaches in order to bond.
The same with other stuff. I don't need no fancy in-house when I'm working, an old tree in the back woods suits me fine or the old "rustic" privy can suit my needs and water from the sow's trough can refresh my face. Should I need to look presentable for my customers, heck a sheet of aluminum flashing will show me 'at my face is still han'sum.
I figure the more needs ya needs, the more money ya needs to get those needs and to get the money ya needs, the more ya needs to charge ya customers or ya needs more folk to buy the needs they needs. Well I figure the ol' body needs fewer needs if it needs to last and I'm happy with that.
Ya can pay a whole lot more for a cheaply built backhouse shed which can't even be used as a thunderbox from some folk who needs ya cash cuz they got lots a needs, or ya can pay a lot less for the real thing from a guy who values different needs.
Ya know, sometimes I just sit and thinks. Often when I been building a bit too much, when my body says "leave it 'til the morning," though what I'm working on is just not quite right today. Well I just take me a hot shower and ease on into my easychair which has conformed to my body many, many years ago so that when my wife sits in it, she asks me how I can sit in such a old broken down seat. Well it just fits me.
My trusty dog plops next to me on his old broken down bed, leaving his much newer one alone while I review today's and tomorrow's plans, feeling peace from having spent my day doing good honest work and knowing they'll be more to come.
Sometimes I put on that idiot making thing they call television and sometimes hear some of the laziest folk I know talk about stocks, bonds, hedges or whatever, trying to gather so much that they will never have to lift a finger again. They tell of folk called shareholders who don't seem to know a damn about businesses they invest in, nor do they have any empathy for the underpaid folk who provide the sweat equity to grease the wheels of productivity. Some folk kinda get crushed by the wheels and are forgotten as long as the profit statement don't suffer.
Speaking of parasites, heard that Wayne, down the road; his dog come down with some mighty nasty worms. I always thought they got on pretty well but rather than take his trusty companion to the vet, he just took a bullet to it. Wayne says "to put him outta his suffering," but Wayne is such a cheap son of a gun that I knows he didn't want to spend the money on a vet. I wish I'd a known for that seemed to be a mighty fine dog and I woulda taken care of it but knowin Wayne, if I did, he woulda found a way to charge me for that.
Well I guess its time to cut the power to this here plastic brain so I don't add any more dollars to the power company shareholders as the more money they make, the less taxes they pay and the less I make, the more taxes I get shook outta me.
Georg Papp, Sr., OBPA
The Bull Hill Workshop
151 Bull Hill Rd
Colchester, Ct. 06415
Phone: 860 267-8123
Or use our contact form.